Friday, June 13, 2008

I know why my BMI is in excess for my height (part 1)

A few years ago ( maybe it has been more than a few years) I called my O.B.G. to schedule my yearly appointment. the problem was I had not scheduled a yearly appointment for about 7 years. ( woohoo, 7 years without a pap!!! ). Since I had not been seen for 7 years, the receptionist kindly told me that my records had been booted out of the computer and I would have to sign up as a new patient. I said sign me up and she explained to me that he was no longer taking new patients. She apologised for the inconvenience and told me to have a nice day. HAVE A NICE DAY? WHAT? your telling me that the Doctor who has seen my private parts and delivered all of my children has so rudely erased my records from his computer. what am I suppose to do? After hours of crying , swearing and calling him bad names (jk) I was given the name of A new Doctor that had just moved into town and should be fairly easy to get into. Since I had put off having this exam for 7 years I was feeling a little urgency to have it done. So I called up Dr. Dorks office ( not his real name but should be.) and made an appointment. It was a nice office, very inviting with several lovely ladies hustling around helping patients. hmm, I think I am going to like it here. A nice nurse called my name and I followed her back to the exam room with a quick stop at the scales. If you are like me, I will do anything to get out of standing on the scales. The scales are wrong anyway, I weigh much less on my drivers license. The nurse wasn't believing any of my reasons why I could not be weighed, so I stripped down as much as I could and got on the scales with my eyes closed, ( I didn't want to know how much I really weighed) but I couldn't stand the suspense of not knowing so I opened one eye. Hey, I don't weigh as much as I think I do, maybe this wasn't going to be so bad after all. I followed the nurse back to the exam room and waited for the Doctor. Dr. Dork came in introduced himself, proceeded with the exam,, asked me to get dressed and meet him in his office to discuss the results. I got dressed quickly and headed for his office. when I arrived there he was already sitting behind his desk, admiring himself in the glass in the window behind me and running his fingers through his hair. THIS SHOULD HAVE BEEN A CLUE. He asked me to have a seat and started to explain to me about different body types and shapes. He even drew a diagram for me. His sketching was of an apple. that was my body type, when you are only 5'1" there are not many body types you can be. He began informing me about the dangers of being an apple. You are more prone to have high blood pressure, heart disease, etc..and explained to me that my body mass was in excess for my height. He then asked me if I would like him to contact the hospital nutritionist for me. HOW RUDE!!!!!!! I came for a pap, not to be told that I was fat! I politely told him that I would think about it and give him a call. I gathered up my things and headed out of his office . when I noticed that the lovely ladies behind the desk. their body mass was in excess for their height. DID HE HOOK THEM UP WITH THE NUTRITIONIST? needless to say I never went back to Dr. Dork again.

6 comments:

Lola said...

That is Hi-larious! It was even better in the blog-o-vision than in person!

I go to a portly Dr. He NEVER says anything rude about my weight...only my age, and my anxiety!

Busty LaRue said...

Part 1?? Does this mean there are more parts to come? YAY! Your stories are funny. You should blog more often *wink wink* haha I wouldn't go to DR. Dork again, either.

Hey It's Di said...

HEE HEE! I agree with Lola. That is even more funny in blog! No, I'm not saying it wasn't funny in person but you know my Alzheimers. I forgot some of it!

I think they should just look at driver's licenses to know our weight...forget the scales:)

Neil said...

What a great story....and of coarse we must repeat it often to family and friends....especially the 'your weight is in excess for your height' part. Can't wait for part 2....I hope it doesn't have anything to do with cinnamon rolls! MUM

petersons said...

My favorite part of the pap is the breast exam afterward, you know while he is "checking" them out, the wonderfully awkward conversation that takes place while he does it.

Corrine said...

i just came here from "hey its di" and i am glad I did. I am sorry about that appointment, don't you just love it..

i went to a dr. who was concerned about my heart and BP and he said "well maybe you should take some weight off, actually with your BP the way it is I wouldn't worry about it. its too hard to lose weight." I thought it was great than when I came back he was like "dude take some weight off" I didn't get credited for the 2 I had lost in the last six months, geez!